Victoria Behan decides to be selfish for one day, unaware of the effect mind control and open-ended questions can have on a closeted trans girl.
Thanks to AlinaZaWizard, Chemistree, and Wurx_Works for beta reading.
The flimsy plastic lunch tray felt heavier in my hands as I approached what was now my usual table. No matter how many times I told myself that I had done this dozens of times before—it shouldn’t mean anything—this still felt different. But I had to. Tomorrow was important.
The booth came into sight and I could see I was the last to arrive (I had taken my time in the hall). The girls were all done up with subtle makeup and clothes that complimented their features, a detail that was no doubt lost on the majority of boys here, and I found myself wondering—not for the first time—how long it had taken them to get ready this morning. Kiri was the exception, as always, slouched in her oversized hoodie in the corner, she seems to perk up as my tray clatters down next to hers.
The others pick up on my mood instead, but before they can say anything—
“Hey, that’s mine!” Winter glares at Kiri, who was guiltily smiling around her rice.
“Uh, sorry…” Kiri chews and swallows around the words, leaving Winter to sigh.
Sensing her opportunity, Kellyn pounces, leaning across the table on her elbow. “Who died, Asher?”
Her usual makeup hides her freckles, but some still poke through around the edges of her face. Between her personality and her muscles she manages to loom over me even from the corner of the lunch table, and having her shoulders out does nothing to shrink her presence, vibrant red hair barely brushing them. I self-consciously tuck my own growing hair behind an ear as Siyana butts in.
“Kellyn! Don’t ask him that, what if someone actually died? You’d feel awful!”
I let out a huff at her defence. “No one died, the damage to my heart isn’t that bad yet.”
“Oh, breakup?” Kiri supplies, leaning over.
I wave her away, “No, Ashley broke up with me last week, I already grieved that, but now I only have today to find a date before tomorrow!” My pitch rises slightly with my distress.
My heart sinks as Kellyn rolls her eyes and Siyana puts her head in her hands, while Kiri and Winter ask, “what’s tomorrow?” In unison.
I work up as much passion as I can to put into my voice, maybe then they’ll understand. “Only the most important day of the year!”
“The fourteenth? Tuesday? Uh…” Kiri looks clueless, and I slump down in my chair. “Nope, you’ve got me stumped.”
“It’s Valentine’s day,” Siyana answers. I don’t see her, looking at my salad and pushing it around with my fork.
“It’ll be the first Valentine’s in my whole academic career that I spend alone at this rate…” I work up the courage I’ve been trying to save and do my best to make it sound casual despite my racing heart as I sit up. “Oh, would one of you girls want to go with me?”
My heart drops as Siyana scoffs. “It’s not that big of a deal Ash, you can survive one day single.”
Kellyn lands the second blow: “Kind of messed up, honestly, just asking us all at once. That’s not very passionate Ash.”
Kiri starts to say something before Winter speaks over her. “It is not an ideal sensation, no. I would think it defeats the purpose of the day to just go with a friend. It is a day for celebrating romance, is it not? This feels as if you are sucking all the meaning from it. That is, of course, if you are to attribute meaning to a day merely because of where people have arbitrarily decided to label them.”
I try to think of something to say but my throat seizes up. I feel my eyes start to grow wet and suddenly feel very trapped, standing up to escape. “I’m sorry, Sakura, that we can’t all be so—” I have to choke back a sob, “—so cold as you.”
I turn and run before I can embarrass myself further, Kiri says something after me but I ignore it; I can’t let her or the others see me like this, it’s not right. The cafeteria doors are pushed aside as I rush into the hall, tears streaming down my cheeks. There’s a classroom past the lockers that’s always empty, I need to get there before anyone else can see me cry.
The hallways are usually empty this far into the lunch period, but today there’s a girl waiting—strangely enough—near my locker. I go to push past her when she reaches out and grabs my arm. “Asher?”
“Not— Not now,” I choke out, moving to pull her hand off me.
She frowns, but doesn’t let go. “What’s going on?”
My hand reaches hers to pull it off but instead stops. She smells so sweet, and I’m suddenly so sure all she wants to do is help. “I-I’m going to be alone on Valentine’s day a-and none of my friends understand,” the whole story pours out of me, sobs and all.
Her features soften and she steps closer and gosh she really smells like honey I wonder what perfume she— “I know what it’s like to be mocked by one’s peers, Asher Hughes.” She giggles, reaching up to brush away one of my tears and her hand is so soft. “You know, I also find myself faced with the prospect of spending Valentine’s day alone, we could solve this problem together.” Her eyes flicker to the side for a moment, before switching on a smile and exaggeratedly tapping my chest.
“I— Are you sure? With me?” Her features fall back into a more neutral position, and I wonder if I disappointed her somehow. She is very pretty, with golden curls framing a round, rosy pink face.
She steps away for a moment, hand on her chin as she mutters to herself what sound like arguments I only catch snippets of (“yes he’s a pretty face but you’re meant to use him! Ugh but he looks so lonely too, how can I not— Girl just let yourself be selfish for once…”) before drawing her resolve together up to her full height of my chin.
“I’ve decided,” she announces, “that you’re going on a Valentine’s date with me.” She slouches back down a little. “Uh, if you want to, that is.”
Seeing no reason not to (she is very pretty, and smells very sweet) I extend my arm to her. “It would be my pleasure, Miss…”
“Victoria, Victoria Behan— Wait, heck.” She exclaims, as if forgetting something.
“Is something the matter?”
“No, just, I wasn’t supposed to tell you that, but I guess I can make you forget it later.”
I blink, but feel nothing wrong with her reasoning. “Oh, ok then.”
“Now then, if you’re going to go out with me, we’ll need to go shopping first. Not that you don’t look good in that, it’s just a bit… modern.” She gestures at my button-up shirt and dress pants. “You also definitely have more to show off than something this loose does— Oh, and don’t worry, this is my treat.”
I was slightly worried, there were reasons I kept my clothes as loose as they were, but the worry quickly subsided under her presence. I trusted her. Nodding, I reply, “when do you want to go shopping?”
She smiles up at me, more genuine this time. “It didn’t look like you wanted to stick around, we could go now and get dinner after.”
Honestly, I wasn’t sure what I had been planning to do if I made it to that classroom, maybe hide in there until everyone else went home, or maybe I’d be lucky enough for the crying to stop after just a period and rejoin class. Those problems and friends seemed so distant now though.
After all, I had Victoria.
The mall was an old building, built back when cars were taking over the country and the suburbs had just begun to sprawl. It was here that Victoria had dragged me into a small anachronistic shop with clothing racks packed so full I feared anything I took off wouldn’t be able to fit back on again, and she was sizing up her options.
“Ooh, what about these?” She holds up some slacks.
“Slacks don’t compliment my figure, and the colour clashes with my skin tone.” I tell her honestly. She had told me to voice my own fashion opinions when it came to her picks.
Now less emotional, I had noticed that she dresses differently from everyone else at school. That skirt, for one, definitely had support to stay that wide, which I didn’t think any other girl this decade bothered with, though the blouse she wore remains timeless. It makes sense that on a date she would want someone who could match her style.
“Okay, what about this?”
She holds up something I didn’t expect: A pair of skinny jeans. “Aren’t those a bit too modern for your style?”
She rolls her eyes. “Jeans have been a popular casual wear since the fifties, though a tight fit fell out of fashion in the seventies and is only now coming back in, you definitely have the body to pull it off.” Her eyes look me up and down, and I flush.
“It’s just not something I’d normally wear,” I admit.
“While you do look nice, I don’t want to go on a date with someone who looks like an office worker, no offence.” She throws the jeans into my lap, and I acquiesce.
“You’re right, maybe I should try something new.”
She smiles at me, filling me with warmth. “Now, lets find something to layer with that shirt,” and flits off to a different part of the store.
The vest she finds next is much more reasonable; a dark brown that compliments my hair, slightly loose-fitting to be worn open, and with buttons that serve more form than function. She adds it to the jeans in my arms and starts pushing me towards the cashier, only needing to rebuff a small protest (“you don’t need a fitting room, you’re basically the store size to a T, if we were shopping for me it would be a different story”).
After paying she takes the bag and walks us to the bus stop. The bus is mostly empty with an hour left until school lets out, leaving us with a pick of seats. Victoria sits down and gestures for me to join her. “So, Asher, they didn’t actually tell me anything about you, what do you do for fun? Other than flirting, I’m not deaf to rumours.”
“They?” I look at her with confusion.
“Don’t worry about it,” she waves her hand with a scent of honey.
“Oh, well I usually read when I’m not at school or dating, it can be nice to escape into someone else’s life I guess.”
Victoria swoons slightly, “like imagining yourself as the handsome prince slaying the dragon?”
I blush. “No, more like romances, but sometimes they involve dragons…” Why was I telling her this? Not even the girls knew what I liked to read, except Kiri from that one time she had snuck up on me as bugs, but I swore her to secrecy—
She perks up and leans forwards slightly, “really? Have you read that new one, with the vampires?”
Still slightly in shock, I nod.
“The cover is so striking how can you not read it, right? And the supernatural elements really add to the tone in a way it feels like a lot of stories are missing, even if the guy is kind of a creep.”
“I thought he was ok…” I mumble.
Victoria looks at me with a bit of pity. “Oh Asher, while guys like that can be fun to fantasise about, in real life they’re nothing but red flags, you really don’t need to be like him. I think you’re sweet how you are,” my heart flutters, “now what else have you read?”
We pass the rest of the bus ride talking about other romances and bird-human hybrids, and I feel the tension in me unwind as we do. Of course Victoria would understand even when my other friends didn’t.
The bus stops in the suburbs, and her home, unlike her, is unremarkable; one of many copied houses seen a dozen times on the walk from the bus stop. The driveway is empty as we walk up the front path, she nudges my side. “My parents work late, so they won’t be home for hours.”
Unlocking the door herself, she slips inside before inviting me in, stopping me when I don’t take my shoes off before leading me to her bedroom. The room is full of her personality, posters on the walls showing women in various historical styles, sketchbooks on the floor, and a closet covering one wall full of all kinds of clothes.
She puts the bag down on the bed, covered in bright yellow sheets. “There’s a nice diner downtown I frequent, you just need to dress up.” She reaches up to ruffle my hair, the smell of honey wafting over me. “It’s ok to experiment, just think of this as your dream date.”
I nod, and she moves towards the door. “I’ll give you some privacy, come get me from the living room when you’re done.”
I open the door nervously, even if I know there’s nothing wrong with what I’m doing; Victoria told me her instructions, and I followed them as best I could. A new worry grips me that I didn’t do enough, but I round the corner from the hallway to the living room and see the back of Victoria’s head on the couch.
I clear my throat and she turns around. “Finally! I was starting to get worried you might have run away—” The words die in her throat as she blinks and takes me in, cheeks colouring slightly red. “Asher, what?”
I fidget, “You told me to—”
“Is that my shirt?!”
“The yellow went with the vest and despite the height difference your bust size isn’t much bigger than mine.” I try to explain myself hurriedly, though her face only grows more red.
“My room, now.”
I retreat, and she follows after me. When we reach her room she closes the door firmly and sits me down on the bed, crossing her legs opposite me. It takes her almost a minute of false starts to finally speak, fidgeting with her arms and avoiding my eyes.
“Asher— No,” she groans into her hands, “heck, this is too confusing, right now you’re Ashley, okay?” The name settles over me, and I nod. “I’m not going to ask what you think you’re doing, because clearly you know, I mean—” She waves over my body, “—the fishnets add texture to your legs and help hide any body hair, the skirt and t-shirt both compliment the vest, and the latter even looks cropped on you which lets you high-waist the skirt to give you hips and layer the vest better. So,” she takes a deep breath, before finally looking me in the eye, “why?”
“Y-you told me to experiment like my—” I blush. “—like my dreams.”
“Oh… Oh! I’m such an idiot!” She agonises, pressing both her hands into her forehead, almost falling backwards onto the bed before turning her focus on me again. The scent of honey grows stronger. “Ashley… Do you want to be a girl?”
I know what I’m going to say and try to fight it, the resulting coughing fit silencing me for a few seconds. I can’t tell anybody that. I haven’t even told myself that, burying the unprescribed feeling before I can put a name to it. The honey pools in my chest, drowning me, dragging the word out of my throat as painful as I am helpless to stop it. “…Yes.”
The feeling abates, and I gasp for air. I realise from my palms on my knees that I’m sweating. Victoria hums, tapping her leg. “Well. I’m not sure what to do now, can we even go on a date? I mean you still look great but—”
“Yes!” I say, desperation seeping into my voice before the uncertainty crashes back in, “I-I got dressed for a date, didn’t I?”
She raises an eyebrow. “You want to go on a date? As Ashley?” I nod, she sighs. “Okay. I feel bad for all this, and it’s not like you’re hard to look at. Can you do your makeup?”
I shake my head, “No, I can get fashion through observation, but makeup—”
“—Makeup requires practise, mhmm. Come on then.” She stands up from the bed, which feels like we spent an eternity on, and shoos me over to her desk and clicks the ring light on, temporarily blinding me from my face in the mirror. “You’re a little paler than me, but we have similar complexions so I should be able to make this work.”
She already has a tube and a brush in her hand, squinting at me in the mirror. “I don’t know if we have the same skin types, but since it’s only for tonight it should be fine.” She pokes a thumb into my cheek, “wow you have good skin though.”
“I moisturise. And exfoliate.”
She nods, wiping down my face with something before squeezing some of the tube out onto the back of her hand. “Some people could learn a lot from you. Now chin up, we’re putting on a light layer of foundation and blending it down to your neck.” The brush doesn’t tickle as it spreads the liquid around and down my face, more firm than I expected.
She keeps narrating her work, pressed up against my back and working from my reflection. “Next, we have some concealer that should hide that tiny amount of shadow you have, mostly for your chin and blend down your neck again… And now your base is done we can add some blush by rubbing it in circles on the part of your cheeks we want to highlight.
“Now for the eyes, eyeliner is a pain to get right so I’ll just draw on a little bit on the eyelid with a tiny wing at the edge to highlight it… Blink onto this mascara for me… And again… And there!” She pulls her hands out of the way and I can finally see the totality of her work. I don’t look that different—not really—but my skin looks smooth and even, with small touches highlighting more feminine features, like I see on the girls. I look like one of the girls.
I turn around and see her dragging lipstick around her mouth, smacking her lips together and making a pop sound before holding it out to me. “Last step.”
I take the stick and do my best to copy her motions, before she holds out her hand to me.
“Lets go on a date, girlfriend.”
The bus ride to the diner was mostly silent, though shorter than the mall, and the bus driver waved to us both as we got off. The diner itself looked like it was transported straight from the sixties, and I wondered if Victoria was some kind of cryptid that was attracted to these kinds of things. Unlike the mall it wasn’t falling apart at least.
Once I recovered from the shock of everything, I put myself together enough to offer Victoria my arm, which she giggled and accepted, clinging to it rather closely while leading me through the doors. The place was mostly empty, but we took a booth near the back anyway, Victoria separating from me to slide into the bench opposite and picking up her menu.
“I’ve had basically everything here, most of it’s good, just avoid anything that isn’t fried or coated in syrup. I’m not sure how long they keep their devilled eggs under a heat lamp.”
I just nod, searching through the menu that probably hadn’t changed for several decades. Usually my dates would be taking a girl to one of the many coffee shops near school. While clearly placed for parents to relax at after dropping their kids off, they had a certain class that fast food places lacked. This place fell outside that scale altogether.
“Victoria! Lovely to see you. And you brought a friend?” One of the waitstaff had approached our table and was broadly smiling at Victoria. She looked younger than I’d expect for someone working here, probably in her twenties.
“Hi Brooke, this is Ashley. She also didn’t have a date for Valentine’s.”
The lady clicks her tongue. “Boys can be so mean, can’t they? Always playing with a girl’s heart. I’m sure you’ll find the right guy eventually.” She winks at me. “Now, what can I get you girls tonight?”
“I’ll have the eggs and bacon, please.” Victoria smiles up at her.
I clear my throat, pausing for a moment before speaking in a soft voice. “Just a cheeseburger, thank you.” She gives me a look, but writes the order down.
“One eggs and bacon, one cheeseburger, gotcha, should be a few minutes.” She gathers up our menus and leaves. I realise in the silence that follows that so far Victoria’s been asking all the questions, no wonder she seems unsure about this date.
“So, what do you do for fun? Uh, other than read. I saw all the posters in your room.” I’m still speaking in the softer voice I used with the waitress, though I’m not sure why.
Victoria looks slightly surprised, before looking past me into the distance. “I mean you’ve probably guessed that fashion is my main interest. Ever since I started school I wanted to look for ways to express myself, but I didn’t really know how to do that until my mom took me to see a musical when I was eight.
“It was set in nineteen-fifties Manhattan, and I was immediately taken in by the colours and especially the dresses, big and vibrant and taking up space.” Her face slips into a small smile. “I know the attitudes at the time didn’t reflect it, but to me it felt like encouragement that I could take up space and be myself, instead of shrinking myself to fit in a box.”
She lets out a sigh. “Unfortunately our peers don’t feel the same way. To take up space is to be a target. But it won’t make me let go of something that’s mine, I’m far from a seamstress, but I know enough with a needle to do patches and resize things, something needed annoyingly often.” She looks back at me and smirks a little, “what about you? You clearly know your stuff.”
I blush. “My mom borrows fashion magazines from the library, from there it was mostly observation and listening to girlfriends when they talked about it. Turns out girls kinda like it when you know enough about their interests for them to talk to you about.”
Victoria giggles and puts her hand over mine. “Ashley, I think you share more than just their interests.” I blush harder, thankfully saved by a plate of greasy burger and fries being slid in front of me.
“Here’s the burger, and the eggs and bacon, and two milkshakes on the house.”
“Aww, Brooke, you didn’t have to.” Victoria weakly protests.
“Nonsense, those boys don’t know what they’re missing. Have a lovely night girls.”
We dig in, despite—or perhaps because—being soaked in grease, the burger is surprisingly tasty, forestalling conversation as we eat. Victoria finishes first, stealing one of the fries off the side of my plate. “We should probably head back soon.”
I swallow, letting out a small whine. “Do we have to? We’ve only just had dinner. What about a movie?”
She looks torn. “My parents probably won’t mind… Do you even know what’s on?”
“No, but we can look?” I look at her hopefully.
She lets out a dainty snort. “You’re too pretty to say no to. It’s just a couple of blocks away anyway.” She sips at her milkshake while I finish the rest of my burger, feeling full of both grease and sugar.
Victoria stands up first, offering me her hand to pull me out of the booth. At my insistence I pay before we walk out with a final wave to Brooke. We keep holding hands as we walk down the block, and I shiver now we’re outside the heated restaurant. Victoria nudges me playfully. “You could have just worn stockings you know. Or a longer skirt.”
“Always wanted to try fishnets…” I mumble.
“Well you definitely have enough leg for them,” she agrees, looking down before walking close enough I can feel her warmth. “Lets get inside quickly then, can’t have you freezing to death.”
Thankfully the cinema isn’t far, and since it’s still the day before Valentine’s there’s still plenty of seats left. We debate in front of the posters which movie to see, eventually deciding on a mystery-comedy film and buying a large bucket of popcorn to share. I think I feel some people staring at me, but Victoria always pulls my attention back to her.
We find our seats at the back before the lights go down, and the movie starts with the murder of a football coach over a diamond. Victoria giggles when the incompetent French inspector is introduced reversing into multiple cars while parking, cuddling up into my side where she settles for most of the movie.
In the latter half her attention shifts, looking up at me. “This movie’s pretty dumb, huh?”
I look back to the screen, where the investigator had been disgraced before discovering an important clue. “Yeah.”
She yawns, leaning on my arm. “I definitely need to sleep when I get home, today has been exhausting…” Her eyes rest on mine as she just breathes for a minute. “You’re so pretty, you know?”
Caught off-guard, I can feel my cheeks heat up, praying that the darkness of the theatre and foundation hides it. “U-um, thanks?”
“You are,” she insists, “I can see why so many girls fall for you. I guess I’m lucky none of them kept you.” Her hand gently brushes some of my hair behind my ear as she leans in, lips unevenly stained red where eating hadn’t caused the lipstick to rub off. “I wish I could keep you…”
Frozen, I can feel her breath on my lips. I’ve kissed girls before, so many times I think I’ve lost count, but this is different, I’m not really—
Victoria, sensing my hesitation pulls back, looking at me before her eyes widen in shock. “Oh sugar— I didn’t mean— What am I thinking of course you can’t consent like this, I’m so sorry Ashley, I just—” She retreats into her chair, pulling back from me until we aren’t touching anymore. “We can go now, if you want.”
I breathe, and find myself missing her touch. “No, I— I’m ok.”
“If you’re sure…” Victoria frets nervously. We watch the rest of the movie in silence, though Victoria keeps glancing at me out of the corner of her eye. When the movie ends I follow her outside to the bus stop, where she paces.
“I can’t believe I almost screwed that up, I know I’m using you, but you deserve better than that, okay? Ugh, but I still need you for tomorrow otherwise she’ll get mad at me and I don’t know how long these stupid pheromones last, I mean I can’t just kidnap you— Wait.” She turns, her scent falling over me. “Ignore that. It’s not weird to have another girl over for a sleepover, right?”
I shake my head, “I don’t think so?”
She nods to herself. “Okay, I have spare pyjamas, your parents might worry but I’m sure they’ll survive the night, and nobody knows to look for Ashley anyway. You’re sleeping over with me.”
I nod, and—when the bus pulls up a few minutes later—get on with Victoria. The ride home is spent in silence, and when we get back to her house there’s a car in the driveway.
Victoria turns to me for a moment. “Heck, mom’s home, just follow my lead.”
She pushes open the door, and I remember to take my shoes off this time. “Hey mom?” She calls out, “just got a girlfriend over for a sleepover.”
“Okay honey!” A voice calls back from somewhere deeper in the house, “have fun!”
“She’s in the study,” Victoria whispers to me as she pulls me into her room, “dad’s away on a business trip, and she’ll leave before school tomorrow.”
“If you say so,” I sit myself down on her bed again, while she goes to the closet and rifles through a drawer for some pyjamas. It’s a good thing they’re loose, because the pants stop midway down my calf, and the shirt leaves my midriff exposed.
Victoria stops me before I get into bed, making sure to wipe down my face with a makeup wipe and telling me it’s bad for my pores to sleep in it. Then she yawns and crawls into bed herself, patting the spot next to her. When I get in she rolls over, leaving plenty of space between us. “Get some rest, just—” She lets out another yawn, “—don’t try to escape or anything… okay?”
She drifts off, and I soon follow.
I wake up in darkness to light snoring, Victoria had rolled over in her sleep and was cuddling into my side like she had at the movies, her warmth counteracting the chill I felt from outside the bed. Victoria. Right, I was at her place. Why was I at her—
The rest of the night comes back to my memories, everything before the date and after. She had stopped me in the hallway by doing… something? Something that made me feel fuzzy and agree with her. Was she a general like Kiri was? She had mentioned needing to use me and a “her”, which could refer to Prismatic Sting or MalevolAnt, still…
I look down at the smaller girl sleeping on my arm, round features snoring softly, and remember everything else that had happened. She could have just enacted her plan when she found me, but instead—Fuck that was going to be a lot to unpack, as I push those thoughts into the corner of my mind to deal with later—instead she had been nothing but sympathetic, kind and understanding. I couldn’t tell the other Guardians about this, but maybe… Maybe this could be our secret.
I wrap my arm around her, and she lets out a small sigh, before closing my eyes to drift off again.
The thought of escape doesn’t even cross my mind.
Victoria’s pacing around her bedroom when I wake up again, daylight peeking through the curtains. She seems to do that an awful lot. She spins around when she hears me stir, her eyes slightly red and puffy.
“Victoria, what—”
She takes my hands, interrupting me with a wave of honey. “Ashley, I’m sorry but I need you to get dressed in your boy clothes.”
“Okay.” I reply, all other thoughts cleared from my mind as she shoves my clothes into my arms, but I feel an aching in my chest as I walk to the bathroom. When I return I see Victoria with my bag, taking everything out before packing the clothes she bought for me and what I wore last night into the bottom, covering them with my school supplies.
When she sees me again she zips up the bag, grabbing a hairbrush and turning me around before softly running it through my hair to get the overnight knots out, now that it’s long enough to get those. Her brush strokes slow down the further through she gets, until she heaves and collapses forwards against my shoulders with a sob.
“I’m sorry,” she repeats, “I’m sorry but I have to. I can’t risk everything.”
“Victoria it’s ok,” I try to comfort her, “You can—”
“Stop!” The scent of honey is so strong it feels nauseating, like the sweetness of something rotten. It stops me in my tracks. “Don’t talk, don’t make this harder.” She sobs more into my shoulders. “Ashley— Asher, listen to me. You’re going to go to school like normal, you’re going to transform, and you’re going to attack the other Guardians for me, ok?”
I’m helpless to do anything but nod, despite the ugly, twisting, tightening feeling in my chest.
“Then—” She turns me around, starting into my eyes with a sudden intensity despite the tears running down her cheeks, “—you’re going to forget everything since I met you.”
A rush of heat floods my face as I look up at the woman holding me down, Kellyn—Roaring Squall—stares down at me from behind her mask before speaking. “Hey.”
“Um, R-Roaring Squall?” I stammer.
“What’s going on Asher?”
I wince, pulling the collar of my shirt out with a finger. “I was hoping you could tell me, c-could you get off?”
“Could.” She leans in closer, causing me to squirm, “need to make sure you won’t attack us if I do.”
“A-attack you? H-how would I even do that? I’m just a regular boy!” She’s towering over me so much I can’t even see where I am, let alone if we’re alone.
She snorts, but finally gets off me. We’re in the homeroom but it looks like a war zone, overturned tables and scorch marks everywhere. She offers me her hand. “Just Guardians here Ash, come on.”
I ignore her hand, getting up on my own and dusting myself off, my usual shirt and pants far more wrinkled than normal. Behind her Guiding Light and Persistent Shadow are walking over towards us, and I feel a hand on my shoulder as I turn around to see Winter Bloom behind me. I tilt my head in confusion, things must have been pretty bad for her to transform too. She’s spinning my ruby bracelet around her index finger.
“We were in homeroom when you walked in both late and transformed and started attacking Persistent Shadow. When we transformed to support her you started attacking us too. What do you remember?”
“Not much,” I admit, “I was running away from the cafeteria when something stopped me. I think it was… a girl? Everything got really fuzzy.”
Guiding Light detransforms, and Siyana looks at me with concern. “I don’t think school will be back for a few periods following that fight, lets take Ash to debrief.”
Following our leader’s decision, everyone else detransforms and we find ourselves in a nearby cafe with hot chocolate and tea. After taking a slurp, Kellyn speaks. “First, I think we should apologise. After talking some things out with Kiri we kind of realised—”
Winter continues: “—Even if we do not understand your reasoning—”
“—We should have at least acknowledged that it was important to you.” Siyana finishes. Kiri blushes into her hot chocolate before letting out an indignant squawk as Kellyn reaches over to ruffle her hair.
“She made us rehearse that, even convinced us into a whole plan to take you on a group date after school, though I suppose that’s scrubbed now. We were really worried after you disappeared yesterday,” she explains as Kiri grows increasingly red.
“Oh, thank you, really—” I do feel a lot better after their apology. These were my friends after all! “—but it’s ok,” I wave my hand, “I think I already had one?”
They all look at me like I had turned into the fourth general. “You think you went on a date before getting memory-wiped and mind-controlled into attacking us?” Siyana questions me.
I frown as the fuzzy feeling fades, leaving me uncertainly shrinking in my chair. “I… don’t know…”
Kiri interjects; “I saw him talking with a girl when I went after him yesterday, they seemed like they were flirting but I don’t remember what she looked like other than blonde and short.”
“That is a quarter of the girls in the school,” Winter points out.
“Going on a date the day before Valentine’s day is unusual though,” Kellyn reasons, “I heard some rumours on the bus that a girl was seen going out to the movies with another girl.” She rubs the back of her head, “Ah, though they used less kind words for it. And that disqualifies our culprit for obvious reasons.”
I’m not sure why I feel a twist in my stomach at that, as I raise my hands in a calming gesture. “Girls, it’s ok, I’m fine and I’ll be more careful next time.”
Kellyn snorts. “Ash being more careful with a girl’s heart, now that I’d like to see.”
The rest of the girls break down into various states of giggling as I pout.
I headed to my locker at the end of the day, we had spent the morning comforting Asher until school finally resumed after lunch, letting me fall into the predictable rhythm of schoolwork. I open my locker with a clang and jump back as something falls out. It’s not the first time I’ve had something unpleasant stuffed into my locker, but this time a note drifts to the floor.
I pick it up. It’s small, square, and the message is written in black ink with loopy lettering. After looking to both sides and seeing nothing but other students dumping books out of their bags, I read it.
‘Kiri, I know you care. Look after Ash.’
Was this from that girl? Weird message to leave after kidnapping him for a day, I was worried sick! Using his familiar nickname too… I stuff the note in my pocket with a huff; of course I’m gonna look after him, he’s the closest friend I have after all. Asher knows he can tell me anything, right?
I frown, better check on him after school just to be sure.
In all honesty I had forgotten about this one until a fellow fan convinced me I should crosspost it here, so I hope you enjoyed this headcanon of one of my favourite lost shows! Oh, and you should go check out her own Luminous Guardian fic: Pestilent Shadows by Midnight Storm!